We women, on the other hand, can get very distracted during sex, which is one of the reasons that we don't get aroused or have orgasms as easily. From an early age we are taught that sex is not for us and that women who are very interested in sex or display their sexuality are sluts.
This slut-shaming causes us to turn off our connection to our sexuality and desire which makes it very hard to get excited during sex.
If you are waiting passively for your partner to excite you, you might just wait forever.
With these three tools, you can take matters into your own hands!
You may want to give your gams a break and focus on toning your arms instead.
Researchers at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia, showed male volunteers videos of women.
To get into your body during sex, take some time at the beginning to let your partner give you light, sexy touch while you take slow, deep breaths.
You may need to close your eyes at first to really feel your body.
Next, tune into the sensations in your body and start to make the connection with your pelvic floor -- you can do this by focusing on your pelvic floor or doing Kegel (PC squeezes).
In our practice as sex and relationship therapists, we help women get reconnected to their sexuality and desire all the time.
In our work we have found that, in order for you to get turned on and have intense orgasms, you need to get into your body, allow your arousal to rise and fall, and focus on sexy thoughts and fantasies.