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Once you pay, none of those people actually reply to any effort you make to contact them. In other words, 100% fake plants that the site employs to make people believe it is an active and successful site.

Worst of all, claims to be a BDSM site, and yet if you are a submissive looking for a dominant the majority of people they "match" you to are also submissives who are looking for dominant partners.

it is not specifically a dating site, but no one objects if you contact people that look interesting. Some advice : first of all, no *censored* picture for your profile picture. second, if you contact someone that looks like you someone might want to talk to don't be an ass about it. Mistymouse ( my nym on either site) I have had 0 luck with Collarspace and Fetlife.

be polite, and friendly, like you would be if you were to meet someone at a party. They make me hate myself more than anything, no one ever messages you.

If you are hot, you may get some free play at parties and events.

If you are not hot but personable, networking within the community can eventually get you play.

If you are dominant, you are matched to other dominants and there is no way to change this.

Go to events to learn techniques and develop a reputation in the community as a safe player and a decent guy.It seems inappropriate to post that on normal dating sites.The biggest fetish/BDSM community, fetlife, isn't a dating site and there is not a search engine designed to find matches. I'm young, fit, everything good, but I don't know where to advertise myself where my type of women will see me.Don't just go "hey i want this and that, and you are sub, so you have to give it to me. Your search results with collarspace are limited to say the least, and there are plenty of scammers there.I am uninterested in going to Fetlife munch's because of some social anxiety, but that seems the only way to maybe meet someone. There are not huge numbers of people and it is a long process to find the right people.