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It is one thing to be loved, even better to be liked. I am fighting depression because I feel like such an outsider.

l limit my calls to once a week and sometimes she doesn't return my call.

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They call wanting me to drop everything to aid them. But when she needs babysitting, she'll call immediately. I raised them right and they are wonderful children in so many ways, but too busy to even give me a call. Barriers to Closeness Young Adult Developmental Issues: Noted psychiatrist Lee Robbins Gardener once told me that parents of adolescent and young adult children not only experience the empty nest, but also the battered nest when the young adults may devalue, in a number of different ways, home and family of origin in order to ease their passage out of the nest and into the world. One friend, who had enjoyed a wonderful relationship with her daughter growing up, found herself feeling embattled and rejected when her daughter went away to college.

Still others may be stuck in the child role -- on the receiving end of parental giving -- and haven't developed the empathy and skills to be givers as well as takers. For others, very happy to take from their parents and not at all inclined to give of themselves, may make themselves invisible to their parents until they need something.It wasn't until the daughter was nearing 30 that she rediscovered the joy of close ties with her mother.I've seen other friends and patients blind-sided and baffled by sudden hostility from adult children who, as they mark their new independence, start complaining about their parents' deficiencies in parenting.They imagine that babysitting your grandkids is a privilege -- at their convenience -- and too often don't think about how lovely it would be to simply have family time together. They think that their parents will be there forever, that there will always be time to get together, to do this or do that together someday.They figure that as long as things are humming along in their lives, why call you with any details? When you're 20 or 25 or 30, unless you've had the misfortune to lose a parent at a very young age, it's hard to imagine not having your parents around for years and years to come.